I love hearing them, but I always wonder how drunk you'd have to be to pull them off! I immediately grab the hot chick in the group and tell her to "follow me" because I "know the way". He stalked a girl and tricked her into marrying him as you shit yourself. I was high and drunk. I'm basically a saint. He is wearing only boxer briefs, an unbuttoned flecktarn german army jacket, and boot on his left foot. tl;dr 20-30 early morning joggers/cyclists saw an indecent zombie with a cooler on its heard limping home. He hooked up with an old coworker … then got a picture of a sonogram. It's that people have bled me details of the night but never said what really happened. Storytime With Reddit 516,453 views 18:44 Teachers Share Best "Smart-Ass" Response They've Ever Heard From A Student In School (r/AskReddit) - Duration: 13:44. I had an evaluation at work about 10 years ago. Here are 15 of the very best. Hundreds of stories were collected. It sobered us all up a little. We found 15 of the most cringe-worthy How-I-Lost-My-Virginity stories on Reddit, and they’re pretty hard to read. I bet even Satan knows better than to drink Everclear. If there was ever a time to use your best TL;DR, this would be your thread. I don't know but she actually listens. — Reddit user PeanutPhotography. Twice. In the morning they let every single person out before processing us, when we finally got through the two cops at the desk were kind of smirking and then one of them just blurted out "sooooo what was up with that homoerotic dance party last night boys? We hit the nude beach, drank several R&C and she was feeling pretty good. The darkness was my wingman. If there was ever a time to use your best TL;DR, this would be your thread. I'll get right on trying to figure out what the fuck it does. Betta check yo organs. Drinking. Everybody wants one these days. She's freaking out, but not too bad. I was really worried about it so didn't drink for about a week before so as to be on top form. Best $65 (ticket) I ever spent. I can't wait to get this weekend started! I told her I was sober and I just needed a ride. Fuck that stuff. 75% of him is caked in a thick layer of clay. The way to where? When shes like you wanna go to my car? 5. To get you in the skinny-dipping spirit, we’ve rounded up some skinny-dipping stories from Reddit. Fallon's fans quickly started tweeting about the crazy and cringeworthy things they or their friends have done when they've had one drink too many. Noticed the stares and yelled "NEVER DRINK!". I remember another thread like this where a guy said he started pregaming in Hong Kong and woke up in a rural school house in Vietnam. hide. Woke up in my friend's hall with no clothes, a towel over me in a fashion of a sheet being draped over a dead body. Getting hammered with a group of friends at the neighborhood park in the middle of the night. She was sober. Story About an Early Morning Drunk Advanced Driving Test Not Drunk – Just Plain Dumb Big Boozing Badger Doesn’t Budge Sponsored Links ∇ Story About an Early Morning Drunk Rodney and his wife Wilma are awakened at 3 o’clock early one Saturday morning by a loud pounding … Funny Stories About Drunks Read More » Hundreds of Reddit users chimed in on a recent thread to tell their own stories of drunken debauchery, liquid confidence, and ill-timed bodily functions. The lady on the phone said theres drunk people in the area and will not be sending anymore taxis to this place. Can't wait for the next one, have one on me. Find communities you're interested in, and become part of an online community! Went back to the bar street and got caught by the same cop who sure enough threw us all in the wagon. Willy looks pissed because I'm giving Nilly a bunch of attention, making sure she's warm bumming her a cigarette, you know. Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder. 13 Drunk Horror Stories That'll Make You Give Up Alcohol Forever. I love to get my wife drunk as that is the only time she is OK to expose herself to other guys. He is struggling with a limp caused by wearing 1 boot, and falling down the 200 foot tall embankment. Edit … I was dancing with her for like an hour. Drinking. The whole crew was watching you from back here". Following closely behind is a man who has obviously fallen on hard times. So last night Reddit kicked of a thread asking rapists to explain themselves. Once i was at the teen club. Were your valuables missing? Drunk wife. I told her that Willy was probably going to draw the cops to him by walking around looking and we would most likely be safe. Of course, a bunch of rapists went over to tell their stories. I was the expert on sex, as I … Drunk women. 322 votes, 733 comments. Our story begins in Spring of 2016 when i ( currently 20 M) met a girl we'll call Rosi (currently 19 F) well me and Rosi immediately hit it off and began dating. An Ask Reddit thread popped up the other day asking bartenders to share their favorite "you've been cut off" stories from thirsty patrons who drank too much. 17 Horrifying Office Holiday Party Stories That'll Make You Want To Quit Your Job "I decided to brag about my past as a gymnast, then proceeded to … When they show up everyone bolts. Thank you. They chased me back to the apartment with their dicks out trying to piss on me. Blech. I had really drunk fumbly sex with some random frat boy. Have a nice peek at the photos of the drunk girls fails. We're talking quietly and finally starting to relax when I pulled out a big, fat ass, spliff. save. It goes something like St. Patrick's Day > Beer > Moonshine > Body Shots > X rated photos taken that were deleted > ???. Rapists and would-be rapists are opening up about “the other side of the story” — theirs — on a massive Reddit thread about the motivations behind sexual assault. where did u guys get the inspiration for the dance party...? 2. Holy shit these type of stories...waking up not knowing where you are with literally nothing to get you back terrifies the fuck out of me. I was thrown out of Denny's, pissed on 2 of the 3 guys I was hanging out with while we were in a huddle. However, a friend of mine also tags along. Drunk munchies are a motherfucker. The night should have come to an end when he went home at about 11pm but being nicely pissed me and a mate stayed out, hit a club. I was sixteen. I convinced Nilly we should stay and wait it out. I've done each of these things (getting wasted in a park, running from police, hiding under a tree, smoking a spliff under the same tree, fucking under still the same tree) and many combinations of these things, but never all in the same night. I remember up to moonshine. Reddit is a network of communities based on people's interests. Press J to jump to the feed. A picture of a sonogram isn't what most people want to receive after an illicit hookup. ... and we both got very drunk. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Wondering what to do when your boyfriend gives away your Hamilton tickets?What about if you need advice on how to get your girlfriend to stop writing you so much poetry?For many people, the r/Relationships subreddit is a community to help navigate life’s romantic quandaries. I got a few nasty stories. The rest has been only vaguely revealed. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. I only just kept my job (still at the same company) but had real trouble getting back to Singapore without a passport. Cops broke it up and told us if they saw us again that night we'd be spending the night in jail. Edit 3: sorry, i tried, but didn't get blackout drunk tonight! We seemed to break up into groups like we had planned the shit. ... (located on my Reddit Profile Page). My girlfriend is cute as ever, well put together, same as she always is. Friends say they know a great beach we can camp on, secluded, out of the way, etc. share. The problem for me isn't that I don't know. It ended in both of us getting drunk, renting a hotel room and having some fun. I mean it’s just a little head. This was 11am. Usually, people try to forget their drunken nights, but Jimmy Fallon has asked them to face the shame and share their stories. Marshmallow roasting. During the concert, he decided to get down on one … Edit: Thanks for the gold! Undoubtedly, some of the greatest perks about working in an office is the happy hour Fridays, occasional free breakfast, and of course, the annual holiday party.The office party is … Edit: wow this really took off. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. For some reason this is the first one to make me laugh. I put the towel there to spare the world the sight of your hairy ass. Some are sexy, some are funny, and all of them are entertaining. This story comes from Reddit user funny-chubby-awesome: "My high school best friend, let's call her Hillary, approached me about masturbation. It’s also home to some of the more bonkers (possibly fake) relationship stories we’ve ever heard. Reddit, what are your funniest drunk people stories? ???.. We dated for three years before she ended it. This is actually not "that" uncommon. 5:30AM: time to go home... Let me paint you a picture. Im macking her down or whatever. It was like being humped by a half-erect yorkie terrier. Now let me clarify. Turns out it requires a 2 mile walk along a popular trail that starts in the city, and then you do a mountain goat impression 200ft down a clay cliff. Since every Bro has a story, feel free to share your very best "You've been cut off" story in the comments. WHISPER Had to get someone to western union money to me and go to the British consulate in Kuala Lumpur and tell them I lost my passport so I could get a new one and back to Singapore. Anyway I wake up the next day in a shit hole of a town in Malaysia with no recollection of how I got there. Also, what you said to the high schoolers was "THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO!" Marvelous, well done. S'pecially dat appendix. She is walking our dog, who is adorable and behaving well and is petted by some 20-30 joggers and cyclists that pass by. Nakedness. I lead her and my friend (we'll call him Willy and her Nillie) to an undisclosed location. You must have scared the shit out of that kid. In front of a high school band I pulled over and vomited out of my door and shit myself at the same time. The cops get called by a nearby resident. Because then it wouldn't bother me. One man began laughing hard, got off of his bicycle, and shook my hand. I wasn't good looking or "popular", but that night I had my A game going. Funny drunk girls captured. Edit: wow this really took off. It was early fall and getting a little chilly. Bottom line we had sex, woke up and starting dating. Pretty slutty, but if I were a girl…I would totally blow a guy for a ride to McDonalds. My story is too long, so, here’s TL;DR: Girlfriend was raped and she’s now pregnant. I had no money and no passport. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I bring a cooler with 8 liters of home-brewed wine. Couldn't find clothes so I sobered up and drove home. 31.0m members in the AskReddit community. He is balancing a very large cooler on his head. Everyone is smoking weed, boozing etc. 6. I'm now 29 years old and still think of this as my yahoo moment. The whole story sounded like a very cliched – and detailed rape scenario; a few commenters responded to the OP just to tell him to shut-up, stop typing on reddit, and go call an attorney ASAP. The funny images of young drunk girls are warning for you to not drink too much. Edit 2: thanks for killing my productivity at work today! From what I've been told, my only regret is that I was too hammered the next morning to remember the looks I was getting. Managed not to get pissed on. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. We all stripped naked and started beatboxing and dancing in the cell, and this random guy joined us like it was totally natural. Drinking. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Hope you did! was hammered with 3 friends a few years back and got in a scrap with some random guys. He has either a grin or a concussion, but the clay makes it hard to tell. A+; It would be hard to have done that night better. TL;DR Got drunk and banged my future gf under a pine tree, "In the pines in the pines where the sun don't ever shine". Willy got so pissed the he decided to leave and try to find the others. So im in the back of her moms lexus. This man is me. I still have no idea what happened as my mate says he left me at about 2am. Courageous drunken chivalry, we'll call it. ... this is a simplified version of the story. My mate was no where to be seen. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. report. Rosi was a beautiful, shy, kind, timid, and a super sweet girl when we met, but she had her demons. I have been arrested (for alcohol related crimes) three times only, and every one of those involved everclear. I don’t believe her because we are just two poor students and I don’t want to make any sacrifice for someone else child. Thank you. Drunk girls. Singapore can bring out the worst in people. Cookies help us deliver our Services. 70 votes, 169 comments. Scroll down for video Shots, shots, shots! Then, the story was deleted.” — [deleted] 25. We sit under a big pine tree (the kind where the boughs droop and touch the ground) to stay out of sight. She agreed. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Drinking. There was this bad bitch from a different state there. Mine would be one I got from my mom, where frat boys drunkenly tried to pee into a bucket on the ground off … I also enjoy "stick it to the man" naked dance parties, yeah that communal cell is called the drunk box. She wants to keep it and believe that we could be great parents. 0 comments. When we got to lockup they had run out of cells (it was St. Paddy's Day) so they threw us all together in a communal cell with one other random dude. Press J to jump to the feed. 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